Don Cheadle is At It Again...!
Man, Don Cheadle just won't quit with me! I know that I've already devoted blog space to the man's unholy obsession with me, but this past weekend has brought me fresh evidence that the man can't get enough Violet. While Andretta, Jolanda, and I were shopping last Friday, I got the weird sensation that I was being watched. Again! Lo and behold, I saw this poster of Don Cheadle in all its snarky, cheese-caked glory. Yes, he's joined the (Red) campaign, and this poster is ostensibly an advertisement for its products. But look closer...
First, you'll see that he's taking off the product, taking it off. He's pulling it up and to the front. Up...and to the front. Does that look like advertisement for the product, or like a simple come-on for a certain Miss Violet? I'll let you be the judge. More evidence, m'kay? Is he selling underwear? No. Then why, sweet Jesu, am I seeing tighty-whitey? Tighty-whities, I must remind us, aren't even sexy...except, apparently, on Don Cheadle. Third: what's that look on his face supposed to mean? Really!?! It isn't going to make me think of my philanthropic help preventing AIDS or feeding Africans. In fact, it makes me think of considerably less philanthropic endeavors which would make Mrs. Cheadle chase me down a poorly-lit street with a rolling pin. Fourth: Don knows I can't shop at the Gap—my booty is too generous to buy what they are selling. So, why have this delicious poster placed facing out? So I'll see it, of course.
Gentle readers, I have tried to talk some sense into Mr. Cheadle, and I am at my wit's end. I can only hope that your generous donations to the (Red) campaign will help bring Don around again. It's about the less fortunate, Don; Violet...she's just an unattainable, gleaming star. Admi(red)? We'd all like to be.