I Need Some Information About a Library

Yesterday, I'd slated some study time in the law library with Andretta to get a head-start on my reading for exams. We'd agreed to meet at the this particular library since they've already finished reconstructing it. Alternately, we in the humanities are fondly looking forward to our third anniversary sans Library West (and by "fondly," I mean we are contemplating taking a hostage).

Having driven past this building frequently, I set out on bike for said library. It took me awhile to navigate to the Law College area since they've closed the main road for continued construction. Then, as I was trotting around, I couldn't find the entrance to the library. Hmmm...wonder why? Could it be because they decided to name it...something else? Turns out, in the linguistic world of lawyers, "library" means "information center." As a lifelong Florida resident, I find this asinine. An "information center" is where you go to get Disney tickets or secure group rates for the Ramada; it is not where you go to procure books.

Lest I be alone in this thinking, I checked the university website just to see what the other "libraries" are being called these days. They are as follows:

UF Digital Collections
Architecture and Fine Arts Library
Education Library
Judaica Library Health Science Center Library
Allen H. Neuharth Journalism and Communications Library
Legal Information Center
Library West (pictured)
Marston Science Library
Mead Library
Music Library
Smathers Library (East)

Hmm...I wonder what the lawyers know that I don't know. Maybe there's some legal issue involved in calling this book repository a "library." The same legal issue involved in calling the BOOKSTORE a WELCOME CENTER? Taxes, perhaps? Or maybe the contractor who worked on this building also owns the business that sold us the letters to label the building. Changing from "Law Library" to "Legal Information Center" more than doubles the number of letters in the title—cha-ching! Plus, I'm pretty sure the LIC's named after someone because there were a lot more letters in the title that I'm leaving out (though, again, none of them spelled "library").

So, since we're apparently going to rename structures willy-nilly, here are my alternate suggestions for the ediface formerly known as "law library:"

Books R' Us
Legal Briefs
The Studeria
Reading Lounge
Page Me, Bite Me
Information Storage Unit
Stack Attack!
The Lexus Nexus
Researchery
Make a Federal Case of It (Here)

The most irritating point of this matter is that I know I'm right semantically, but I'd lose if I had to take this to court. Even after the severe emotional distress that this has caused me.