O, the humanity!
(written on 27 January 2006)

Yet again I am shamed by the reality that is my Ryan Reynolds fixation. On his unofficial fansite (yes, the skanky one), an entry from November 30th reads:

Vote For Just Friends NOW!! Just Friends needs your help to boost its rating on IMDB (Internet Movie Database). Visit the link below to vote for Just Friends. Right now the movies rating is a 5 out of 10. This movie is way, way better then a 5. So let's get it to a 10. Vote NOW at IMDB!! Also, if you are not currently a member of the IMDB community sign up today, It's FREE!

Gentle Reynoldians, though I have not yet seen this movie, I offer a few observations:

1) Just Friends does not need my help to boost its rating on IMDB. My guess is that it needs the help of a quality scriptwriter, a gifted director, a thoughtful cameraman, and a talented ensemble of actors. That's how a good movie is usually made.

2) "The movie is way, way better than a 5." Clarification: Ryan Reynolds is way, way better than a 5 (see unnecessarily scantily clad wood-chopping pic). But if the movie didn't involve a lot of semi- or full nudity, my guess is that it deserved a 5. (And, umm, if memory serves me right, this movie involved a fat suit. Over a 5? Honestly?)

3) Don't beg. If Ryan isn't up to the challenge of picking or acting in a really good movie, be content with liking the movie for what it is, cutting his pictures out of magazines, and taping them on your walls. I mean, if that's the sort of thing you choose to do with your time. I think I'd advise a "What Would Jesus Do?" approach to Ryan's career missteps. This is a man whose Blade Trinity views like most actors' On the Waterfront. I am thereby initiating a contest for the three of you who ever read this website. Who is Ryan's own personal Jesus? Which actor (or actress!) should he emulate career-wise? [Sorry folks - voting over. The suggestion for Zach Braff won, and you're out a free meal.] I'll give a week for responses, and winner gets a free drink or, if you're my non-drinking relative/friend, dinner.