Cure for Pain
(I had a splitting headache all day and haven't been able to think properly. So forgive me if this entry comes off as unfocused or unfunny.)

Today, I read an article in The Week (reprinted from National Geographic Adventure) which discussed an alternative psychological healing process in which Peruvian shamans administer Ayahuasca, a chemical mixture containing the hallucinogen DMT, to address a variety of psychological problems. UCLA professor Chalres Grob is studying the effects of the mixture and has found that Ayahuasca "seems to give users a greater sensitivity to serotonin—one of the mood-regulating chemicals produced by the body—by increasing the number os serotonin receptors on nerve cells" (40). Grob further indicates that this mixture could be more effective than American antidipressants because they "create such high levels of serotonin that cells may actually compensate by losing many of their serotonin receptors" (40). What's more, the shamans give you a whole ceremony with the drug—a real "face your demons" exorcism. Fascinating stuff.

I guess this article sparked my interest because I'm in one of those mental stages that could be described as "cranky" at best and "overwrought" (my mother's old term) at worst. When I hit this stage, as we all invariably do, I try to suss out what has caused it, but this can be tricky. At the point where I'm already pissy, everything that could be at issue gets piled into a mountain of causes so that I'm not sure I can pick a point of origin for a particular bad mood. My usual solutions? Depending on the behavior of others, they usually go in this order:

1. (preferred) Sleep a lot/read something completely unrelated to study.
2. Avoid people, especially people who may have inadvertently contributed to icky mood.
3. Call loved ones; avoid talking about problems but cherish them for being appropriately loving.
4. Try to exercise. At least get into the blessed sanctuary of healing that is any community pool.
5. Watch The Piano; bawl like a baby.
6. Bitch with sympathetic party in attempt to figure out/fix problems at issue.
7. (least preferred) Lash out at one or more parties who have inadvertently contributed to mood. Feel worse.

Fortunately, I don't typically self-medicate, though I may indeed be genetically gifted with certain addictive tendencies. And, at this point, this Peruvian cure is pretty much out of the question (lack of funds). What to do? At this point, I think I'll follow a strict GI Joe policy ("knowing is half the battle") and avoid avoidance. I'm Violet, and I'm freaking out. I don't know if my issue is in my serotonin or in my genes or in my interactions with others, but it's there. And I guess it's up to me to fix it.