(In General) Keynotes Make Me Queasy

If you know me, you know that I'm an "ambience" person—in most situations, I get more enjoyment out of being comfortable than I do in experiencing an event. For example, when considering where to go to dinner, I'm more apt to think about how I want to feel in a restaurant than what I'd like to eat. I know this is an unusual way to approach life, but, when considering why I'm not crazy about attending keynote speeches, it makes perfect sense.

Keynote speeches are odd events: they are part social gathering, part concert, and part lecture. This mix of events makes me nervous because it calls on one to multi-task so that you schmooze with your colleagues, listen attentively to the lecture, and discuss the speech afterwards. My biggest issue here is the "listen attentively" part; I don't process information audibly so any attentive listening on my part is only accomplished through furious note-taking. And furious note-taking is not usually undertaken at a social gathering. You get the point.

Nevertheless, I had a comparatively good time at last night's keynote speech. Usually, a keynote speaker is pretty well known so that s/he will attract a large audience. That said, the Marxist Reading Group Conference's choice of theorist Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak was a good one—she drew professors, grads, and undergrads alike. Even so, after being introduced, Spivak sat down. This action, coupled with a lack of microphone, made it almost impossible to hear her. I'd say that I heard about 40% of her speech, but what I did hear was wonderful.

After the speech, I got to catch up with people I hadn't talked to in awhile, which was nice, especially because I wasn't called on to detail how "my work is coming along." Also, I don't think I said anything especially problematic, which is good considering my propensity to view the world as my own personal comedy club. (At our last conference, I encouraged a colleague to take a picture of a particularly cute guy—really professional.) At one point, I was standing with some people, eating a bit of the fantastic reception food, and Lila Heder and I were debating whether a particular petit-four was tasty or not. I'd had already eaten one and insisted that it was quite good. She took one bite and indicated disparagingly that it had cream cheese in it to which I replied, "Put that shit on my plate!" I think I alarmed her because she backpedaled with, "I don't have any germs or anything" to which I rejoined, "I don't care. Put that shit on my plate!" Needless to say: good petit-four. Good keynote (I think). Good night.