Guess My Alarming Facial Disfiguration
Those of ya'll who know me know that I can be a bit neurotic about my health. I am not ashamed to say, though, that I have brought hours of pleasure to members of the medical community through the sheer creativity of my self-diagnoses. For example, I'm the only person I know who has had a case of dandruff medically verified. And though I'm not usually sick with anything impressive, I have had some rather bad bouts of sickness, even this year. Here's a comprehensive list of both ailments that I've had and ailments that I've thought I've had within the last 3-4 years:
the flu
ringworm
blood clot
mono
bronchitis
lymphoma
ingrown toenail
yeast infection
breast cancer
urinary tract infection
lice
diabetes
strep throat
ear cancer
pregnancy
ingrown hair
diverticulitis
Unfortunately, I'm in the awkward position of needing to self-diagnose again. I have a growth on the side of my face that popped up just yesterday. Yeah, yeah, it could be a pimple, but if this sucker is a pimple, it's like the Louisiana Purchase of pimples. What's strange is that it is shaped like a raised saucer (as opposed to a volcano) about the size of a dime, and it hurts like the guy who abused your mother. Since I've been warned off of WebMD (Jolanda), I'll ask you all for advice. Personally, I'm banking on spider bite, knot (did I hit myself?), cyst, or mutant rouge pimple. Suggestions?
posted by Violet @ 6:32 AM
2 Comments:
I would hazard a guess and say it is probably a really big pimple that is coming to the surface. But keep an eye on it. If it keeps growing or you start experiencing jaw pain then give me a call. It could be a small abcess.
It's probably a severely blocked pore leading to a huge zit. I got a couple of those the first time I moved to Montreal and had to deal with living in yucky city air as opposed to clean MA quasi-rural suburb atmosphere.
I feel you on the hypochondria. I have kept the Chambana psychiatric medical community happily occupied during my law school tenure...the body doctors handed me off to them about the first time I hallucinated a cancer...
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