Ketchup

Wow—it's been awhile since I've written—a fact not lost on Andretta who told me that I need to write, dammit! Write! Of course, she's right. I haven't stopped writing because I'm out of ideas or personal events to talk about. Just the other day, I had the most captivating experience with a ladybug... Ok, ok—I've taken a hiatus from writing because I've been too busy and have too much to talk about. So (unfortunately or not), that means you get a rundown.

Here we go:

1. I started dying my hair red again. I stopped when I started the Ph.D. program at UF which means that I pretty much dirty blonde/mousy brown-ed it up for my first three years. Now I'm back to the red which I'd done for four years previously except that they don't make the same color I used to use now. Therefore, I'm kind of adrift in a red-dye sea of indecision on which red to stick with.

2. Badness with my committee. If you know, you know. If you don't know, don't ask.

3. I get pissy about department Halloween party arrangements.

4. I get over pissy-ness and decide to attend department Halloween party in the guise of "Syphillis, the Syphillitic Pirate." I look both sexy and gross. Kind of like last year's Courtney Love outfit. I wonder why I can't stay with just sexy.

5. Busy semester, little exercise, and worries about party outfit confirm it: I'm stressed out about my body image and don't have time to address that right now.

6. I watch The Prestige and like it. Go watch it Chris Nolan fans!

7. The night before the conference proper started, Leandra and I went to see Ground Truth, a documentary about the war in Iraq, at the Civic Media Center. In it, soldiers talk about their training, their experiences in Iraq, and their reintegration into civilian life. It's very powerful, moving, and vexing, especially in the way that it causes the soldiers and the viewers to consider the worth of human life (American soldiers, their families, Iraqi civilians, and insurgents). I highly recommend it

8. "My" conference went well, thank you! It was stressful but pretty darn gratifying. I shelled out around $500 that I hope to get back from the department. I still have a crick in my neck from the stress. Even so, I've got to thank all my peeps who attended the keynote and gave me your continual support. Thanks, peeps.

9. (Honestly, I blame this one on the full moon. Ok, and the PMS...) Yet another personal melt-down in which I come to terms with my disappointing track record in the dating department, get pissed off at a (previously) good guy friend, and make people feel awkward and uncomfortable. Note to self: film best version of this and replay in future to spare self the ridiculous shame and drama. Note to self, part II: bring therapist to next incarnation of this scene. Note to self, part III: give up downer friends and downer dating prospects.

10. Resolution: I RESOLVE TO GIVE UP DOWNER FRIENDS AND DATING PROSPECTS. Yea! Woo-hoo! I can't fix everyone's problems, and I shouldn't have to. I'm not here to make your life happier. It's call therapy, whiner, go get some—God knows I am. (You bitches have been warned!)

11. Sickness. Or yearly allergy. Sickness or yearly allergy? Well, I've had the sore throat, tiredness, and coughing. But I've also had some scratchy eye and itchy, itchy mouth. Currently, I'm losing what is left of my raggedy, Kim-Carnes-esque voice. Y'know, I'm calling "allergy" on this one. From the pollen index, it looks to be ragweed.

12. I get a new vaccuum cleaner as an early Christmas present. For once, I'm thankful to get a Christmas present that sucks. [Place moan of derision here.]

13. Um, dude? I hope you're happy about that vaccuum cleaner, 'cause I've got some bad news. Did you remember that you need to have your teaching observed for your yearly written review? MOTHERPUSSBUCKET! WHAT THE FARTHING HELL! Why not? WHY the MOTHERFARTHING HELL not!?! Have I not suffered enough for you bitches this semester!?! Who is testing Gypsey? Who? WHO!?!

14. Please, sir, may I have some more? Individual student meetings. Tired, stressed, sick? Why not meet with 30 or so students individually all week to discuss their ideas for their last papers. Super! I'll get right on that! Croak.

15. Thoroughly exhaused spiritually and intellectually, our heroine decides that... I'M SPENDING THANKSGIVING IN NEW YORK! Woo-hoo! New York, here I come! I can't wait to see Jake and Kinya as well as all those yummy museums... (That's right, I'm coming to New York. You Northern bitches have been warned.)

So, there you have it—a month or so in a nutshell. I'm sure I'd talk more coherently if I had the time or energy, but, I assure you, at this point, I have neither. I promise to make the effort to be funnier, more inspiring, and entertaining in future entries. For now, I'm just (wilting) Violet.