All Hell Breaking Loose and Finding Words to Describe It
So, for the past week or so, my life has been in a state of partially-ordered chaos. In general, I've maintained a sense of calm, staying low, covering mouth and nose, hosing down so I don't catch flame. Even so, I get the sense that I will not be able to do this indefinitely. Bummer. In an effort to give you a general idea of what's so wrong with my life without endangering every aspect of my professional and personal life investments, I'll try to be circumspect.
1) My job. Hopefully, I'll get to keep it.
2) My department. Hopefully, I'll get to keep it.
3) My academic work. Hopefully, I'll get to finish it.
4) My personal relationships with others. Apparently, I'm an asshole.
5) My love life. Apparently, I'm un-date-able.
6) My self-confidence and sense of happiness. Fucked, fucked.
7) My future...?
Well, that's succinct. In times like these, when I risk both boring and offending my readership, I find it apropos to quote from those more insightful and poetic. That's right: the 'Giants. Witness "Snowball in Hell" (from the Lincoln album):
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money's all broke, and food's going hungry
If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointments
Side effect or drug trip
Don't tease me with all of your mind
Side effect or drug trip
My panacea's in a Xerox shop
Have a nice day, you want it when?
Have a nice day, have a nice day
"I didn't expect to find a salesman drinking coffee this late in the morning. How long you been here Joe?"
"Oh, I don't know, I guess thiry, forty-five minutes, maybe. Why do ya ask?"
"You must be making a lot of sales; piling up a good income."
"Oh, I'm doing all right. I could do better but...ooooh...I get it, Paul: back on that old 'time is money' kick, right?"
"Not back on it, Joe; still on it."
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money I owe, money I ate
Money I owe, money I ate
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Yes, I was a snowball in hell
Yes, I was a snowball in hell
posted by Violet @ 11:20 AM
4 Comments:
Hi - intended to call you today and tell you that if there is one thing you absolutely, positively are NOT, it is an asshole. It's a bit late to call now, but we wanted you to know that you're one of the nicest, most giving people we know.
- "tofu"(the knitter and the kitty feel the same way)
Thank you *so* much guys—I really appreciate this. I hope everyone is well and happy over at your place.
Violet, you rock. Forget fucktards like "you know who." You are beautiful, smart, and giving. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Love,
Sparks
Wuhhh? I've been so busy with slimy financial types and forgetting keys on desks...who called you an asshole? Who? Do they know you have a friend whose friend is a sharp-fanged piranha?
Sorry but I just don't see it. You come off as a really great person. I hope the job sitch works out and keep your chin up. All grad programs do come to an end.
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